Wild Awake Ep 2: Training from Wholeness, Not Ego

Valerie Naegele
Jul 11
14 min read

Updated: Jul 21

Hello and welcome to Wild Awake, a podcast where we discuss how training and business meet personal and spiritual awakening led by the wisdom of our equine and canine companions.

In today's first episode I really want to discuss training from wholeness versus training from ego, because I really do think that is where everything starts is like our approach and perspective on why we're doing this, this work with animals in the first place.

If you're a dog or a horse owner, I think this is a really helpful thing to also think about whether you just have pets you're training or maybe you're starting a dog business or a horse business of some kind. really knowing where you're coming from, are you coming from a place of wholeness, or are you coming from ego as your reason for doing something?

So, I'm going to go kind of deep. It's like a deep start to a podcast. But I think this is the thing that's so important that nobody ever talks about, because the mechanics of training are things we will talk about in later episodes. But this perspective of knowing why you're doing something is so important.

So, I'm going to start off with a quote by Eckhart Tolle from The Power of Now. Eckhart Tolle is a. I think he defines himself as like a spiritual teacher. He's just incredible. If you haven't read his books, he's amazing.

But here's a quote from his book, Power of Now.

"The whole world seems like waves or ripples on the surface of a vast and deep ocean. You are the ocean. And of course, you are also the ripple, but a ripple that has realized its true identity as the whole ocean. And compared to that vastness and depth, the world of waves and ripples is not all that important. "

So I absolutely love that quote, because I think it's a very helpful visual for how so much of life we're either coming at things from this place of realizing that we're vastly connected to everything and everyone and every being outside of us, or we're coming at life like we're the only thing that matters. detached, very self important. Which can sometimes hold its own masks.

Like sometimes people who. Seem like they're doing a lot of things for other people, are still really doing it for themselves because they're doing something for someone else to gain control for themselves. So there's a lot of like, hidden things in there. But I just love that quote, because I think it's a really easy place to come back to. and it gives you that visual.

So to kind of begin, I figured I would give a little bit of like a definition on how I'm looking at ego versus wholeness. So for me, based on just everything I've learned, and taken in, ego is the conditioned part of us that sees the world through past experiences, the mind and storytelling. It's our identity.

Our ego keeps us safe. So it has a purpose. it's our conditioning that we've learned throughout our lives to protect us from suffering, pain, negative experiences and emotions. It's the coping patterns that we've developed to help us, especially as a small child. however, it's something that as you get older, if you keep following these patterns you learned as a child that kept you safe, it often keeps you stuck.

So if you're trying to grow your business. This is often like where you start getting into a lot of this, like personal development, because you'll have these coping mechanisms and patterns from your past that are just really getting in the way of the growth you're trying to make. Because your ego is sort of designed to keep you stuck where you are, because that's like your comfort zone. That's where you're safe.

So it keeps us disconnected. it gives us a sense of identity. And to have identity and even, like personality, we have to, delineate ourselves from the rest of life. We have to stand out in some way. We have to be better than someone or something else to have that identity. So if we're better than someone else is less. so it really keeps us away from the wholeness of life.

And it's not inherently bad. It's just something, as humans, that we have because we have this mind that makes stories from our experiences rather than just seeing the experiences in our lives as feedback. We take in those experiences in every single person is going to tell a different story. and that's really like where our ego starts to form.

So that's what I'm talking about when I'm talking about ego. so sometimes people think of it as just like someone who's, like, really full of themselves. And I think that's like the most, you know, the most simple kind of version of the word is that. But in more personal development terms, that's what I'm talking about.

Wholeness is what I'm calling when you are connected to your truest nature. Eckhart Tolle calls, this sort of idea like the the silent watcher or observer of our thoughts. It's your your beingness, your the truth of who you really are underneath all that conditioning and mental noise underneath all. Yeah, all of that is this silence and stillness. that is actually the truth of who you are.

And we often don't listen to that silence often enough, and it takes some practice to get reconnected to it. Our animals are very tied to this. They are always in this present whole state. and of course, if you, you know, worked with any. Reactive, or animals who've been in rescues or shelters who've had very traumatic experiences. They move farther away from this. But a lot of that is human created in a lot of ways.

So, it's really interesting to me to see, like how, like, humans kind of have this influence on everything themselves and the animals they work with, which is why I'm starting this podcast by bringing up all of these things, because I think it is the root of everything we do in training, in our businesses, in being around our pets and how we think of them and how we talk about them.

Are we coming from a place of wholeness, or are we coming from a place of ego?

So, if you're coming from wholeness, you can see the animal you're working with, or even the person or client you're working with as another, another being with their own wholeness, their own wisdom and teachings to offer you, rather than you being like this almighty teacher, this almighty trainer imposing your will on on said dog or horse or being or uneven on people.

I don't know if I've had the experience growing up riding horses with, with, riding instructors who were like, absolutely terrifying to ride with. completely coming from a place of ego where they could not see me as like a kid learning to ride. They just saw me as like, this other thing that was like, weighing on their self- worth.

So, it's really important that we kind of are always checking back in with ourselves and reminding ourselves, like, where am I coming at life from?

So training from wholeness means not coming at training from the perspective of you must, which is where ego often dwells, is sort of like this animal must do this thing. There's this sense of urgency with ego. It has a sense of proving, pushing, perfecting. Because if we we basically when we're training from ego. We're basically telling ourselves that if I don't reach this result, I am not going to be safe because I'm going to lose connection with all the people who value me, and that's not safe.

So, I need this to happen to prove that I'm worthy. So, you're always coming from this place of lack with ego, and I'm not obviously excluding myself from this. Like, this is a pattern that all human beings have to sort of deal with, cope with, learn about.

So, really catching ourselves or finding like something must happen or this urgency that's usually like a trigger for me. Like, why is this so urgent? you know, is this really the whole picture, or am I being like, the ripple? Can I remind myself that I'm the whole ocean? Like, I think that's a really powerful thing to, like. Almost like a little mantra, at least for myself, to to bring me back to where I want to be coming at things from.

Training from wholeness. This is really where, like, the root of our work with animals starts. It's the root of where a successful business starts because you can see, you know, I'm not going to I'm not going to list any businesses here, but you probably think of some who are not who are coming at their business within, this sense of exploitation to get as much as they can from every last resource without a thought for how it's connected to, like, the greater picture of life.

So that's coming from ego versus coming from wholeness, where you're trying to create something sustainable for everyone.

When we're coming at training or our business from a place of wholeness, we can have an honest look at what an animal we're training needs in that moment. Or maybe if we're working with clients and teach often, a lot of animal training is really teaching people how to train their animals. So we have to learn a lot of patience and teaching and analogies to work with people.

And we have to get really creative sometimes with certain animal, human pairs about how we can make this thing work, this relationship work for them. So we need to be honest and and just look at the experience and stop taking it so personally so that we can just

get feedback, make adjustments, try things, and give ourselves the freedom to be curious and and experiment.

Because sometimes that's what training will take, especially when you're teaching other people to teach their animals that you have to make room for this element of of experimentation.

And if you're tying things so deeply to I must get this result right now, it's just going to drive you crazy because that's you keep telling yourself the story of, oh, I can't I can't get this done. This is because of me. If you're making it personal, you're making a judgment out of it rather than just taking feedback and making adjustments.

So we want to really view the animals we work with, the people we're working with as like valuable whole beings versus just like transactions. and making that transaction mean, well, if I train their dog. Well, if I got this point across to this client, if their client did their homework, then that means I succeeded, that I'm worthy, that I matter.

Because you can imagine if that's like the story you're telling yourself, which it might not be obvious. It's usually pretty deeply embedded in us, and we don't necessarily realize it right away. But of course, if any time you're getting that sense of urgency, it's because your body is basically telling you, like, if I don't get this, I'm not worthy. I'm not worth anything, which means I won't be safe.

It really all comes back down to to our biology and a lot of these, concepts. I'll, I'll mention her again, but I took Natalie Hummels How to Heal course. so she explains this, like, incredibly well. Highly recommend her course. but it just shows us all of our, like, patterning. And it just was so similar to me about how our animals operate to where, if they don't feel safe, they can't do certain behaviors.

Our nervous system affects is our biology which affects behavior. And we kind of think it's the opposite way around. But our behavior stems from the sense of safe or unsafe first and then everything else follows. So, whenever we're tying our innate value, our worthiness, or our identity to our results, we're coming from ego.

And it's it's one of those things. It's like, this is totally crazy, but it's like the most common thing on earth for a person to do. It's more common than coming at things from wholeness, because we just haven't been trained to to operate that way in modern society. We're trained to sort of shove emotions down, pretend everything's okay, and just like, keep getting on the hamster wheel and running around. so this is like, really kind of retraining our own thought processes, processes. And of course, when we're adapting new habits, we can then pass those habits on to other people, pass those habits onto the animals we work with. And that's why I think it's such an important place to start when we're talking about training or working with people or animals or, you know, in any business that you have where you're working with people and animals.

If you're proving your worth based on external results, you're basically saying that your safety comes from fulfilling these external goals based on the validation of other people. And all of those things are completely out of our control. So it kind of becomes like this self-fulfilling prophecy where we're sort of like putting ourselves out there, putting our heart on the line, trying our best, and then letting everyone else decide if it's good enough instead of just insourcing our own safety, which is something Natalie Hummel says, which I really love, and creating our own safety and our own sense of worth.

Like not basing our worth on other people's validation, because obviously that's not going to work out very well. It's really a really a tough place to be.

And when you can have that understanding, it's easier to be compassionate to other people. It's easier to be compassionate to the animals you're working with.

I find it really helpful, like if I'm in that headspace to really think about, like my dog or my horses and like, close my eyes. And you can do this exercise if you want, but think about them and imagine them saying, you know that they're not good enough or, they'll never be good enough. And, you know, when you think about that, I mean, for me, it's always like anything with my animals is like super emotional for me because I just love them so much. But. It's it's so crazy to me because it's like, of course. Right?

You know, no matter what my dog does or my horses do, they're wholly perfect to me. they would never have to do anything to make themselves any more, more worthy or more to me than they already are.

But we never give that to ourselves. Or it's pretty rare that we think of ourselves in the same way. So I find it helpful. And that's something I we did in Natalie Hummels course. to do that little exercise of thinking of your, your animal in that way and then kind of transferring that same feeling to yourself and giving yourself that grace and that compassion to just feel enough even when you don't accomplish things or when you don't reach results.

That's kind of the I think it's, you know, it's a lot of people feel that way, especially if you're a very ambitious, goal oriented person. You probably can relate very much to this.

I also think it's something like we put on dogs and on horses. I think even honestly, I think it's even more so in the dog world. But when I think about like, like standard dog training clients, they want their dog to be like, perfect.

Of course, this goes into the conversation of like having ideal clients and that sort of thing, but, your standard dog training client wants their dog fixed, or they might want their horse fixed. and a lot of people have an idea of what that looks like. And often the idea is almost kind of robotic. It's like my dog will just do whatever I say when I tell them to do it, or my horse will listen to me regardless.

And when people get in that mindset, or even when trainers get in that mindset or feel pressured to do that for people that process involves is just not a squeaky toy. The process involves a lot of abuse. Often it's a lot of force.

Animals-this is where people get in the cycle of, like, shutting animals down instead of training them. And obviously, I don't condone that kind of training, but I can see where the pressure of that comes from. Because of society pressuring trainers to make dogs look a certain way, to make horses look a certain way.

But what I'd really love to do in this podcast is talk about like, shutting down is not success. Like embracing that animals could just be animals and like, express themselves as a canine or as an equine that they should be allowed to do that and not be labeled as like a bad dog.

But it's funny, like, I think especially in pet dog training, that's more of a thing people run into. Because people just value having control like this, like quote unquote control over their animals and other people like, you know, like, oh, that dog is so good. They're like really like, respect that control. And if you're a trainer walking by that dog, you might be like, that dog's not under control. Like completely shut down. but to your typical like, standard client, they might look like a really good dog.

It's just this, like, cultural thing going on in the industry that I really wish wasn't there and that I think we need to talk about more. and I think trainers also need to talk about it more because I know for myself getting into training, it could feel very embarrassing or shameful to have your animal, your dog or your horse or whoever, act in a certain way in front of other people, essentially like that they're not perfect all the time when all the people are around.

And we just need to. Yeah, look at this in a different way.

So, Really, what I mean to say in this podcast, and particularly in this episode, is that training really starts with our relationship to ourselves, and, and seeing if we're coming from wholeness, are we coming from ego because that's going to color everything else, we do. It's going to color the way we work with animals, the way we work with other people, the way we grow a business, and our willingness to grow and be self-aware while also holding compassion for ourselves on this like human journey, allows us to be better trainers, better business owners, better pet parents, better human beings in general.

It allows us to give that love, awareness and compassion to ourselves and therefore to others. So, I think it's so. Important to start there

And I would love any feedback from you guys. So, if you have anything you'd like to add, any suggestions you can email me. I didn't really talk about it too much, but I'm a I'm a dog trainer in southern Maine. I have a dog training business called Venture Dog, LLC. you can reach out to me at venturedoggie@gmail.com with any questions or suggestions or feedback. I'd love to hear from you.

If you'd like to be on the show or have any suggestions of people, you'd like on the show. I'd love to hear from you!

You can go to my website for more information on what I do and the services and offerings I have there. I have some free, free e-book. I have some mini courses, to get your help. Get your dog calmer for you, quicker on cue to help your dog through handling if they're like, nervous at the vet or don't like to be groomed, that sort of thing. And I also have a large online course coming out that's going to be like my full training program coming out in the fall called the My Dream Dog course.

It's going to be the only time this year I release it. So, if you are interested in something like that for you and your dog, you can sign up on the waitlist on my website.

otherwise, I'm like, super excited to finally start this podcast because I have so many ideas. and I'm super excited for the people coming on the show, and I cannot wait to see you in the next episode. I hope you and your animals are having a wonderful day.

About Valerie Naegele | Founder of Venture Doggie LLC

Valerie Naegele is a professional dog trainer, behavior specialist, and founder of Venture Doggie LLC. She helps dog owners who feel overwhelmed, unsure, or stuck finally find clarity, confidence, and connection with their dogs.

If you're tired of second-guessing your training, avoiding walks, or feeling like your dog just isn’t “getting it”—you’re not alone. Val understands what it’s like to love a dog deeply and still feel frustrated, embarrassed, or unsure of what to do next. Her work is designed to give you the tools, insight, and support you need to turn things around—not just on the surface, but in a way that feels good and lasting.

Val’s approach is relationship-based, emotionally intelligent, and rooted in practical science. Whether your dog is overly friendly, reactive, anxious, or just doesn’t listen, she helps you shift the dynamic—not by forcing obedience, but by building communication, structure, and trust.

Her own journey started with a deeply sensitive and reactive dog, and that experience opened the door to a lifetime of study in behavior, psychology, and the human-animal bond. With a background in vet clinics, shelters, ranches, and intensive mentorships with leading trainers, Val brings a rare mix of expertise, heart, and down-to-earth support to her work.

She’s not here to judge or pressure. She’s here to walk alongside you—to help you feel more capable, more connected, and prouder of the relationship you’re building with your dog.