Animals Give Us the Exact Lesson We Need- It's Humbling!

Valerie Naegele
Aug 29
6 min read

Welcome to Wild Awake, a space where training and business meet personal and spiritual awakening, guided by the wisdom of our canine and equine companions.

I’m your host, Valerie Naegele, and in this blog, we’re exploring something that has deeply shaped my journey: how our animals give us the exact lessons we need, often in ways that challenge us, humble us, and push us to grow.

The Truth: Animals Aren’t Testing You

One of the most important mindset shifts people can make is recognizing that animals don’t do anything out of spite. They’re not trying to be difficult or stubborn. They’re not “testing” you.

Your dog isn’t reactive to make your life hard. Your horse isn’t spooking because they’re defiant. They’re simply reflecting what’s happening in the environment — and often, what’s happening in you.

This realization can be humbling because it demands accountability. Instead of focusing on what your animal “should” be doing, you start asking yourself:

Where do I need to spend more time or attention?
Where do I need more consistency or clarity?
Am I showing up in a way that supports my dog or horse?

And sometimes, you’ve already done the work — truly. When that’s the case, the lesson your animal is giving you might be that it’s time to seek help. Many of us carry a conditioned belief that asking for support makes us less capable or less worthy. That’s simply not true. Accepting guidance can be the exact next step in your growth.

Stop Arguing With Reality

If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “We should be further along by now,” pause and ask: How can things be any different than they are in this moment?

Byron Katie says it best: “Don’t argue with reality.” When you stop resisting what is and start accepting it, everything shifts.

Animals feel the energy we bring. When we show up with pressure, frustration, or unmet expectations, they sense it. When we approach with presence and curiosity, connection deepens — and progress naturally follows.

The Power of the Small Moments

Progress doesn’t happen in the big breakthroughs. It grows from the smallest, most ordinary moments:

For example:

Taking five minutes every day to train your dog's skills before breakfast and dinner .
Slowing down whenever you put on a halter or bridle on your horse. Make sure they understand to calmly accept it, rather than just shoving it over their head. Even if it takes you an hour the first time you do this then that's what you're working on today even if you thought you were riding! Next time it will be faster and in the future you will be so grateful you took the time now.
Pausing mid-walk to reset your dog’s energy instead of powering through and allowing that energy to grow into chaos.

These micro-moments teach patience, clarity, and presence. But because they don’t feel urgent, they’re often overlooked — until the small cracks grow into big problems.

Imagine how much smoother training would feel if we caught these opportunities early and built strong foundations before challenges escalated?

Lessons From the Nervous System

Recently, I had a breakthrough while riding a seasoned dressage horse during my lesson. He’s older, experienced, and wonderfully honest — he won’t “give” me anything unless I ask with precision and clarity!

One day, when he became tense and his head came up, my body prepared for a one rein stop immediately. I never realized it until this moment, but "head coming up" signaled my nervous system that danger was coming, and my coping strategy was to go to one rein stop mode. In this moment I wasn't actually in danger, but my body was being taken over with an unconscious action, that had just finally become conscious.

This was an amazing example of how our nervous system dictates what our behavior, our physical body, does without our conscious choice. We can't reroute the pattern until we can see it. "Head going up" was a threat signal that put me straight into fight-or-flight mode. It triggered old experiences with younger, unpredictable horses where in the past this strategy kept me safe, but in this moment it was not the response needed for this horse.

Our nervous system, not our rational mind, often drives our behavior. And are animals are no different. This horse was giving me the exact lesson I needed: to become more aware of what my body was doing in the moment and how that was contributing more tension to the situation. From there I could start to act/behave differently and reroute the pattern so that I could ride better in the future! It was a real light bulb moment and one I see with clients and their dogs all the time!

Animals as Mirrors

You’ve probably heard that animals act as mirrors for us. At first, I thought this meant that if my dog was reactive, it meant I was reactive too. Sometimes that’s true, but the reflection often goes much deeper.

With my own dog, I realized his reactivity around strangers wasn’t just about him — it was about me. My lack of boundaries and my people-pleasing tendencies were creating unsafe situations for both of us. Learning to advocate for him taught me how to advocate for myself, and it also stopped making it his responsibility. Since I wasn't taking the responsibility to advocate for him, he had to take on that responsibility for himself.

The mirror might be showing you that:

A dog who can’t relax is teaching you to slow down. Maybe you both need to meditate more... lol!
A horse who spooks when you’re tense can be reflecting your own stress, and how you respond to that stress.
A dog who “won’t listen” is signaling a need for more clarity and consistency from you.

When you shift from frustration to curiosity and ask, “What is this behavior reflecting back to me?” your entire approach to training changes. You might come to realize then that a dog who "wont listen" is just telling you that you're not being clear or consistent enough.

Connection Over Control

Selective listening is a common struggle I hear about from training clients. But here’s the truth: it’s rarely about defiance or being "stubborn".

When a dog tunes you out, it’s usually because they’ve learned — often without you realizing it — that your cues aren’t consistent or clear. Or maybe you haven't built up your relationship in a way that feels like both of you get something out of it.

I like to think of it as your dog being “on the phone.” You can’t have a conversation with someone on the phone. You first have to have their attention. Once you have their attention now you can start to have a conversation.

The Gift of Presence

Training, and life, flow more easily when you approach every moment with three intentions:

Be present.
Enjoy each moment.
Accept things as they are.

When you stop resisting what’s happening and instead accept your animal — and yourself — exactly as you are, the magic begins to happen. No more should of, could of, would of's!

Your animals are not here to frustrate you. They are here to teach you, to hold up a mirror, and to gently point you toward the places you need to grow. It’s humbling work, but it’s also deeply rewarding.

Share Your Story

I’d love to hear from you. Has your dog or horse ever mirrored something back to you that changed how you trained — or even how you showed up in your life? I know my animals have!

Share your story in the comments or reach out to me directly. The more we share these experiences, the more we grow together.

Until next time, remember: your animals are your greatest teachers. Be present, stay curious, and trust the lessons they’re offering.

About Valerie Naegele | Founder of Venture Doggie LL

Valerie Naegele is a professional dog trainer, behavior specialist, and founder of Venture Doggie LLC. She helps dog owners who feel overwhelmed, unsure, or stuck finally find clarity, confidence, and connection with their dogs. you're tired of second-guessing your training, avoiding walks, or feeling like your dog just isn’t “getting it.” You’re not alone. Val understands what it’s like to love a dog deeply and still feel frustrated, embarrassed, or unsure of what to do next. Her work is designed to give you the tools, insight, and support you need to turn things around, not just on the surface, but in a way that feels good and lasts.

Val’s approach is relationship-based, emotionally intelligent, and rooted in practical science. Whether your dog is overly friendly, reactive, anxious, or just doesn’t listen, she helps you shift the dynamic—not by forcing obedience, but by building communication, structure, and trust. Her journey started with a deeply sensitive and reactive dog, and that experience opened the door to a lifetime of study in behavior, psychology, and the human-animal bond. With a background in vet clinics, shelters, ranches, and intensive mentorships with leading trainers, Val brings a rare mix of expertise, heart, and down-to-earth support to her work.

She’s not here to judge or pressure. She’s here to walk alongside you—to help you feel more capable, more connected, and prouder of the relationship you’re building with your dog.