Discomfort is the Best Teacher
- juanpadasay
- Aug 15
- 7 min read
Updated: Aug 25

Discomfort as a Teacher: How Our Animals Help Us Grow
Most of us are wired to avoid discomfort. It’s human nature — our biology leans toward safety and predictability, steering us away from anything that feels hard or uncertain. But when it comes to working with our dogs or horses, avoiding discomfort often keeps us stuck.
Something I learned from Nathalie Hummel’s course really stuck with me: it actually takes more energy to process an uncomfortable emotion than it does to push it away. That means our instinct to avoid is normal — but the more we ignore those feelings, the more they build beneath the surface. In training, that can look like putting off the rides that make us nervous, skipping walks where our reactive dog might bark, or finding reasons why “today just isn’t the day.”
Sometimes those instincts are valid — safety matters. But other times, fear hides beneath what feels like logic, and we convince ourselves to stay comfortable instead of growing.
Building Capacity for Discomfort
Discomfort isn’t the enemy. The real challenge is learning to feel it without letting it control us. That doesn’t mean forcing yourself into situations that feel overwhelming or unsafe. It means starting small and working intentionally at your own pace.
If you have a spooky horse, you don’t need to hop on and ride through fear. If your dog struggles around distractions, you don’t need to dive into the busiest park in town. Instead, you create opportunities where you can safely notice your reactions — the tightness in your chest, the spike of anxiety, the fear of being judged — and learn to sit with them.
When we allow ourselves to experience discomfort in small, manageable doses, we start to build capacity. Over time, those feelings lose some of their power. We realize they’re just feelings — they rise, they pass, and we keep going. That’s where confidence comes from.
When Our Animals Hold Up a Mirror
One of the most incredible gifts our animals give us is their honesty. They don’t judge, but their behavior reflects back to us the places where we’re stuck.
Maybe your dog barks wildly at another dog, and suddenly you feel embarrassed, spiraling into thoughts like, “I’m failing as a trainer.” Or your horse spooks, and your instinct is to avoid riding altogether rather than face what might come up. The thing is, our animals aren’t judging us — we’re judging ourselves.
Their responses become mirrors, showing us where we resist, avoid, or overthink. And as uncomfortable as that can be, it’s also an invitation: to notice our patterns, shift how we respond, and grow alongside them.
The Myth of “Arriving”
There’s a misconception in training — that one day we’ll “get there.” That we’ll reach the top of the mountain where everything clicks, the work is done, and the relationship is perfect. But the truth? There’s no finish line.
Training is never linear. There will be breakthroughs and setbacks, plateaus and surprises. And every time we grow, we see more clearly what still needs work. That isn’t failure — that’s progress.
The beauty of this journey is that it’s ongoing. Every challenge deepens our connection. Every mistake teaches us something about ourselves and our animals. Every small step forward builds trust and understanding.
Leaning In
Working with animals offers us countless opportunities to choose discomfort instead of avoidance. It doesn’t mean forcing ourselves to “push through” fear or pretending we’re not scared. It means slowing down, feeling what’s there, and deciding what the next best step is from a grounded place.
Some days, that step is doing less — observing instead of riding, sitting with your dog instead of training. Other days, it’s gently stretching your edges and trying something new. Over time, those small, intentional choices add up to real change — not just in your animal, but in you.
Because this isn’t just about teaching our animals. It’s about letting them teach us, too.
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You said:
also add into bulding capacity section that you shouldn't overwhelm or jump into something you or your dog/horse arent ready for because that wont be good for either of your nervous system, you want to stay in comfort zone and in slight discomfort but never overwhelm this is detrimental to training, your relationship, and will only create more fear for you and your animal when you experience overwhelm and inevitably something goes wrong because you actually didn't have the internal skills to handle it yet
ChatGPT said:
Perfect! I’ve now integrated that important clarification into the Building Capacity for Discomfort section. Here’s the updated version of the blog with that part expanded and rewritten for clarity and flow:
Discomfort as a Teacher: How Our Animals Help Us Grow
Most of us are wired to avoid discomfort. It’s human nature — our biology leans toward safety and predictability, steering us away from anything that feels hard or uncertain. But when it comes to working with our dogs or horses, avoiding discomfort often keeps us stuck.
Something I learned from Nathalie Hummel’s course really stuck with me: it actually takes more energy to process an uncomfortable emotion than it does to push it away. That means our instinct to avoid is normal — but the more we ignore those feelings, the more they build beneath the surface. In training, that can look like putting off the rides that make us nervous, skipping walks where our reactive dog might bark, or finding reasons why “today just isn’t the day.”
Sometimes those instincts are valid — safety matters. But other times, fear hides beneath what feels like logic, and we convince ourselves to stay comfortable instead of growing.
Building Capacity for Discomfort
Discomfort isn’t the enemy. The real challenge is learning to feel it without letting it take over. And just to be clear—this doesn’t mean throwing yourself into overwhelming situations or pushing your dog or horse into something they’re not ready for.
In fact, doing that can be damaging. Overwhelming yourself or your animal—whether emotionally, mentally, or physically—can dysregulate both of your nervous systems. That kind of push doesn’t build resilience. It creates more fear, shuts down trust, and erodes the foundation you're trying to build together.
You want to work at the edge of your comfort zone—not beyond it. A little bit of discomfort helps you grow. A lot of discomfort shuts you down. When you’re in a state of overwhelm, you can’t process or learn effectively—and neither can your dog or horse.
So start small. Choose situations where you and your animal feel mostly grounded, with just a touch of challenge. Notice what comes up for you. Maybe it’s fear, embarrassment, or the fear of being judged. Let yourself feel it. Don’t rush to fix or ignore it. Just breathe.
The more you practice this, the more you’ll realize that discomfort is just a sensation—not something to run from. And over time, it will start to lose its grip.
When Our Animals Hold Up a Mirror
One of the most incredible gifts our animals give us is their honesty. They don’t judge, but their behavior reflects back to us the places where we’re stuck.
Maybe your dog barks wildly at another dog, and suddenly you feel embarrassed, spiraling into thoughts like, “I’m failing as a trainer.” Or your horse spooks, and your instinct is to avoid riding altogether rather than face what might come up. The thing is, our animals aren’t judging us — we’re judging ourselves.
Their responses become mirrors, showing us where we resist, avoid, or overthink. And as uncomfortable as that can be, it’s also an invitation: to notice our patterns, shift how we respond, and grow alongside them.
The Myth of “Arriving”
There’s a misconception in training — that one day we’ll “get there.” That we’ll reach the top of the mountain where everything clicks, the work is done, and the relationship is perfect. But the truth? There’s no finish line.
Training is never linear. There will be breakthroughs and setbacks, plateaus and surprises. And every time we grow, we see more clearly what still needs work. That isn’t failure — that’s progress.
The beauty of this journey is that it’s ongoing. Every challenge deepens our connection. Every mistake teaches us something about ourselves and our animals. Every step forward builds trust, understanding, and resilience.
Leaning In
Working with animals offers us countless opportunities to choose discomfort instead of avoidance. It doesn’t mean forcing ourselves to “push through” fear or pretending we’re not scared. It means slowing down, feeling what’s there, and deciding what the next best step is from a grounded place.
Some days, that step is doing less — observing instead of riding, sitting with your dog instead of training. Other days, it’s gently stretching your edges and trying something new. Over time, those small, intentional choices add up to real change — not just in your animal, but in you.
Because this isn’t just about teaching our animals. It’s about letting them teach us.

About Valerie Naegele | Founder of Venture Doggie LLC
Valerie Naegele is a professional dog trainer, behavior specialist, and founder of Venture Doggie LLC. She helps dog owners who feel overwhelmed, unsure, or stuck finally find clarity, confidence, and connection with their dogs. you're tired of second-guessing your training, avoiding walks, or feeling like your dog just isn’t “getting it.” You’re not alone. Val understands what it’s like to love a dog deeply and still feel frustrated, embarrassed, or unsure of what to do next. Her work is designed to give you the tools, insight, and support you need to turn things around, not just on the surface, but in a way that feels good and lasts.
Val’s approach is relationship-based, emotionally intelligent, and rooted in practical science. Whether your dog is overly friendly, reactive, anxious, or just doesn’t listen, she helps you shift the dynamic—not by forcing obedience, but by building communication, structure, and trust. Her journey started with a deeply sensitive and reactive dog, and that experience opened the door to a lifetime of study in behavior, psychology, and the human-animal bond. With a background in vet clinics, shelters, ranches, and intensive mentorships with leading trainers, Val brings a rare mix of expertise, heart, and down-to-earth support to her work.
She’s not here to judge or pressure. She’s here to walk alongside you—to help you feel more capable, more connected, and prouder of the relationship you’re building with your dog.
Ready to feel more connected, calm, and confident?
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